Ra.One, Marketing and Hysteria

Marketing is that one technique that can either make you or destroy you! Ra.One can be a very good example for the same. The movie was what it was. Some may call it a complete dud while the SRK fanatics still drool. But what made the movie work for me is its marketing. Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I very clearly saw all the intense and well planned marketing Eros International, Red Chillies and SRK had been doing so far.

They key factor ensuring a movie’s success is marketing and Ra.One took very good care of that. Their marketing tie-up went up to almost 50 crores which included approximately 15 crores for online production. The movie changed the face of marketing in India and created new records for Bollywood.

Looks like King Khan just didn’t want anything to go wrong this time. And nothing really went wrong except that Ra.One did not please the critics and the audience (here, I am referring to the audience who likes good cinema and not SRK fanatics).

It’s safe to say that SRK shouldn’t try these experiments especially now that his “awe-inspiring” career graph is not pointing upwards. At this time, he has only two safe options. He should either take a grand retirement or just stick to movies like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kal Ho Na Ho, K3G, etc. that’s where people actually like him. Anything beyond that fails miserably.

Also, the kind of audience that watches Salman Khan and Shahrukh Khan is a tad different. Since everyone is comparing Ra.One with Bodyguard, why should I stay behind? The point is Salman Khan is the hero of the masses. But when we talk about the Badshah, the audience that watches him is a bit on the upper side. You will not see SRK become play the role of a Bodyguard in any film. That is something Salman does and is appreciated for it. But when we talk about Shahrukh, his audience is different and has expectations. Which proves why the audience was disappointed with Ra.One. We all like the romantic Shahrukh. But the superhero Sharukh, not so much.

Coming back to the marketing aspect, the hotch-potch entertainment by King Khan is a huge marketing success. The 5-day weekend collection is anticipated to be around a hundred crore, as rivalled to Bodyguard’s 82 crore.

But one should not miss the wood for the trees. It is not the geeky tale or Akon’s Chammak Challo item numbers or the Shahrukh magic that made the movie. It is all that and much more. The selling is the secret of its success.

The two-year project had a marketing window of 10 months starting January 2011, wherein the release of the music, the gaming and merchandise, and Shah Rukh’s road shows followed a detailed time-table. For gaming, the producers tied up with Sony. Similarly, they had a tie-up with YouTube for promoting trailers. And if that’s not enough then they teamed up up with as many as 25 brands ranging from Videocon, Western Union and Star TV to Cinthol and Gitanjali Gems.

Seven months before its release, SRK kicked off the promotions with a 10-second trailer during the World Cup semi-final match between India and Australia, while Ra.One's first look was revealed by the star on his Twitter page on January 2011 along with an ad in a leading daily.

According to brand whizzes, the marketing blitzkrieg for Ra.One is a classic case of integrating a film into every aspect of people's lives. For instance, be it clothing, automobiles, games, sports, merchandising, there will be a part of the film involved.

And The Mausam of Flops Continue...

If love stories are like these, then I dare not ask one for myself. Mausam was one movie I was like raring to watch, really. I watched the trailer for like a bazillion times and also liked its songs. Also, it was a Pankaj Kapoor film so the expectations were higher than the height of the Eiffel tower.

All this went down the drain when I saw the movie last Sunday. WHAT A DUD! It made absolutely no sense at all. I mean here I am trying to put together some sensible words to tell you all how I found the flick, but from where do I get those sensible words when the entire movie was senseless.

Sonam Kapoor is all good as long as she is not in motion. She looks killer on the magazine covers but the moment she opens her mouth or even tries to attempt acting, she fails wretchedly. She has a face that suits the magazines and hoardings because there, apparently you just need one expression. On the contrary, in a movie you need to have good expressions along with good acting skills to impress your audience. It’s not just about having a flat stomach, girl. Please grow up!

Shahid kapoor... Well I don’t know how to put it in words. Looks like, daddy’s kid needs to go back to acting school. If he didn’t go earlier then that explains his one dimensional acting. Throughout the movie, and I am not even kidding but from start till the end he has only one expression on his face. I can’t really blame anyone for that considering he cannot go beyond that. So yeah, no complaints from Shahid as such but serious complaints from Daddy for his bad choice.

The SKs combo Sucks.

Coming to the story of the movie, there was no story. And I am not trying to make a sarcastic comment here but very genuinely, like someone who would even understand a movie like Aisha, I walked out of the theatre blank. At one point they are in Punjab, then they go the Scotland, then Switzerland, then Ahmedabad, then America, then again Punjab and from there Scotland and then Ahmedabad and then again Switzerland…ahh! You get the point right? It was confusing.

I mean, we save up time and money and plan out trips and here they were hopping from one place to the other like they are all on some ping pong stick. (Remember Daisy in Oswald…she was cute).

So basically, I choose not to reveal the story or anything related to that (not even the cheesy dialogues) because I don’t want people to hate my blog. Don’t even think about doing something like that or else God will shoot a kitten in its face. Also, you can thank me for not writing down the dialogues here.

So all you beautiful people out there take my advice and if you love your sanity and money then do not watch this movie.

Bodyguard. Needn’t I say more?

Few things I would advise you to carry along if you are planning to go for this movie:

•         Rotten Tomatoes
•          Rotten eggs
•         Shoes, chappal, etc.

Well, these are just a few suggestions. You can come up with your new innovative ideas to display your anger and frustration. I am too lazy to rack my brains for that purpose. But if you are the cool temperament types, you know the lazy ones (like me) then just carry a blanket. That’d be it. Instead of massacring your time and energy yelling to express your irritation, just wrap the blanket and go off to sleep. That’s exactly what I did. After 20 minutes, the peeps around me could hear my loud snores.

Nothing and I’m very serious here, NOTHING about the movie was good or new. Since I was napping throughout, my friend who is a die-hard Salman fan literally took the pain to tell me the story. Imagine my relief. Thank goodness I dozed. But then again, you can’t expect logic, meaning, class, humane or anything realistic of any Salman flick. As far as Kareena Kapoor is considered, she could pull off that kind of role even if she was sleepwalking.

There is this buzz that this could have been Salman’s hat trick. After Wanted and Dabanng. But then wasn’t it? Well for me it was. All three of them were futile. And all three of them were superbly effective in giving me an abysmal headache. I swear I’m not making this up but I actually got temperature after watching Dabanng.

And what’s with this craze of Salman taking off his shirt and boasting his body? Believe me; I like it more when Taylor Lautner removes his shirt to show his 8 pack *drools*. Now don’t you judge me by this. I don’t like Twilight. But I like Taylor Lautner. Yes, I do.

Anyway, coming back to Bodyguard, I have to mention this. I saw Not-So-Lovely Singh (read: Salman Khan) do this move in some song where he is making his muscles do the dancing. No Sallu, even your muscles can’t dance. My vote still goes to Pappu.

To conclude, The Kareena Kapoor, Salman Khan Starrer Bodyguard is a big dud. My advice would be: Don’t go for this. Don’t waste your bucks on this one. Rather sleep. Your dreams won’t be as boring as this is. In the Bodyguard style - ‘Mujphe ek ehsaan karna, ke aisi aur koi movies mat banana.’

P.S. – This is my personal opinion. You may disagree to it. But that will still not make Bodyguard a “good’ movie.