Monday, December 26, 2011

Ten Things 2011 Taught Me


Ten things 2011 taught me –

  1. Love your work the most. It will always be faithful to you.
  2. There is a huge difference between your mind governing your thoughts and your thoughts governing your mind. The former is healthy, the latter destructive.
  3. Believing is essential. You fail the moment you lose faith.
  4. Nothing is more powerful than self-confidence. It is the strongest weapon you can ever possess.
  5. The basic idea of life is To Experience. By the time you turn into ashes, you would have experienced all the adjectives that the world uses to define ‘life’.
  6. No dreams, no reality.
  7. Destruction of borrowed dreams has a way of hurting more than those your own.
  8. Our first and last love is…Self-love.
  9. One powerful idea is all it takes. That one original thought.
  10. It is good to be confused provided it drives you nuts until you have cleared it out.



So this was it for 2011.

Dear 2012,

Prove the Mayans wrong, please.

Sincerely,
Me.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Chilly Mornings


It was a warm winter afternoon and my mom had cooked her best Murgh Masala. It is on very rare occasions that she actually takes the pain to make something like this. Therefore, there was no way I was going to miss the opportunity to relish it. It was right in front of me staring at me in a seductive way. With love in my eyes, I looked back at it. Mom hates it when I eat without washing my hands. And that was exactly what I did. She came storming out of the room to give me a dose of cleanliness habits. However, to my surprise instead of words she yelped something that was irritating and sounded something like tring… tring…!

Just then, I opened my eyes and reality dawned upon me. Murgh Masala, my eternal love was no longer in front of me. Instead, there was an eerie looking alarm clock staring at me coldly as if in a way challenging me to break it into tiny pieces. For once, I did consider the thought. After all, it had deprived me of my right to relish the one dish I love the most. But that was too unrealistic for a option. Shutting that damn thing up was a much better option.  Slowly I took out my hand from the blanket to accomplish the very goal. But the moment I took my hand out of the warm blanket I felt the chilling cold air on my hand and instantly pulled it back inside the blanket.

For the next 20 seconds I thought of two hundred excuses to why I should not attend the lecture. Nothing helped. I did not have a choice. But the thought of stepping out of the blanket was scary. It is inhuman how teachers expect us to attend college early morning. I say there should be a law against this. But then again, I say a lot of things. Anyway gathering all my courage, I somehow managed to take one hand out of the blanket. It was tough. It was heart wrenching. But I had to do it. It was now or never. Determined I shoved the blanket off in one go.

In an instant the cold breeze directed itself towards me and chilled me to the core of my being. But I was firm. There was no looking back. I had to get ready. Slowly I stood up and walked to the bathroom. The tap inside was staring at me with an evil grin. At that moment it was the lion and I was the lamb. Gathering all my courage I walked up to it and opened it. The water, which was apparently coming directly from the Arctic Ocean, shred right through my skin. I closed my eyes preparing myself for the next 20 painful minutes of my day.

Now this has become sort of a daily routine. Nobody understands. It is a bad bad world, you see. But you know the one thing that is really refreshing and that charges me like nothing else is the hot cup of tea that my mom gives me when I am ready. And after that cup of tea I am ready to start off the day and meet my stupid friends in college.

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Much Hyped 'Love'


Often people ask me “Do you even have any feelings?” Because according to them I am that sarcastic person who hates everything and everybody. This BTW is not true. (Not to forget the question is wrongly framed). I am after all a normal human being with thankfully no psychological disabilities. I feel, I sense, I observe. The only difference is I prefer not to exaggerate.

Love is not that big a deal, really. It's just sensationalized, romanticized and commercialized. It is after all just a simple feeling. It is not that dramatic as they show in the movies. What they show in the movies is the exaggerated version, which is so perhaps to highlight the factor or the moment. However, it is amusing how the 21st century’s fast, intelligent and forward generation is swathed away with the idea of falling in love. How they try to implement the reel life situations in real life and are then heartbroken when the consequences fail their expectations.

Moreover, the young girls out there need to understand this – “Fairy Tales Don’t Exist”. There isn’t going to be any prince charming. There won’t be any romantic songs. Real life is not reel life. If the guy who you like doesn’t like you back, leave it. Don’t fret and for heaven’s sake don’t try to find solace in those creepy heartbreak songs. Understand this – there is a lot more to life. Love is just a part of life and not the other way round. It is sad how everyone follows a standard line of thought when apparently ‘heartbroken’. There is forwarding of some horribly cheesy SMSs, liking of weird Facebook pages, status updates and tweets that practically don’t make any sense.

This is where parents come in. If there is good amount of understanding and the BFF kind of relationship then a lot of that drama can be avoided. I feel so. I haven’t experienced any of it but I share a bond with my mother where I can tell her almost anything. And that is a relief because for one I know that she will understand.

It is amusing how very few Indian parents are actually talking about this with their children. Most of them shy away from it considering it a social evil. Perhaps they are worried about the extreme consequences. Which I think will not happen if the trust factor is maintained. Parents need to understand and adapt to the changing scenarios. Otherwise, their fears might just become reality mocking them.

Friends are equally important but nobody can replace the two pillars of our lives. They are who they are and by no means can their presence be neglected. In addition, I have managed to compile 450 odd words up there that qualifies for a new post.

I think I really need to work on my beginnings and endings. Don’t you think?       

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Marketing Simplified!


Only a genius can come up with something so insightful and interesting. Whoever came up with this must have had a tough time studying marketing or must have loved it dearly. A friend sent this to me as an e-mail.  Sharing it with you all. Enjoy!

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I’m very rich. Marry me.”
That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and says, “He is a very rich man. Marry him.”
That is Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call her and say, “Hi! I’m very rich. Marry me.”
That is Telemarketing.

You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her. Pick up her bag after she drops it.
Offer her a ride home and then say, “By the way, I am very rich. Will you marry me?”
That is Public Relation.

You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich…”
That is Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I’m very rich. Marry me!”
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That is Customer Feedback.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I’m very rich. Marry me!”
She introduces you to her husband.
That is Demand and Supply Gap.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I’m very rich. Marry me!”
She turns her face towards you ----------- She is your wife.
That is Competition Eating into your Market Share.

P.S. – This will be very helpful to all the Marketing Beginners. :)


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Ra.One, Marketing and Hysteria




Marketing is that one technique that can either make you or destroy you! Ra.One can be a very good example for the same. The movie was what it was. Some may call it a complete dud while the SRK fanatics still drool. But what made the movie work for me is its marketing. Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I very clearly saw all the intense and well planned marketing Eros International, Red Chillies and SRK had been doing so far.

They key factor ensuring a movie’s success is marketing and Ra.One took very good care of that. Their marketing tie-up went up to almost 50 crores which included approximately 15 crores for online production. The movie changed the face of marketing in India and created new records for Bollywood.

Looks like King Khan just didn’t want anything to go wrong this time. And nothing really went wrong except that Ra.One did not please the critics and the audience (here, I am referring to the audience who likes good cinema and not SRK fanatics).

It’s safe to say that SRK shouldn’t try these experiments especially now that his “awe-inspiring” career graph is not pointing upwards. At this time, he has only two safe options. He should either take a grand retirement or just stick to movies like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kal Ho Na Ho, K3G, etc. that’s where people actually like him. Anything beyond that fails miserably.

Also, the kind of audience that watches Salman Khan and Shahrukh Khan is a tad different. Since everyone is comparing Ra.One with Bodyguard, why should I stay behind? The point is Salman Khan is the hero of the masses. But when we talk about the Badshah, the audience that watches him is a bit on the upper side. You will not see SRK become play the role of a Bodyguard in any film. That is something Salman does and is appreciated for it. But when we talk about Shahrukh, his audience is different and has expectations. Which proves why the audience was disappointed with Ra.One. We all like the romantic Shahrukh. But the superhero Sharukh, not so much.

Coming back to the marketing aspect, the hotch-potch entertainment by King Khan is a huge marketing success. The 5-day weekend collection is anticipated to be around a hundred crore, as rivalled to Bodyguard’s 82 crore.

But one should not miss the wood for the trees. It is not the geeky tale or Akon’s Chammak Challo item numbers or the Shahrukh magic that made the movie. It is all that and much more. The selling is the secret of its success.

The two-year project had a marketing window of 10 months starting January 2011, wherein the release of the music, the gaming and merchandise, and Shah Rukh’s road shows followed a detailed time-table. For gaming, the producers tied up with Sony. Similarly, they had a tie-up with YouTube for promoting trailers. And if that’s not enough then they teamed up up with as many as 25 brands ranging from Videocon, Western Union and Star TV to Cinthol and Gitanjali Gems.

Seven months before its release, SRK kicked off the promotions with a 10-second trailer during the World Cup semi-final match between India and Australia, while Ra.One's first look was revealed by the star on his Twitter page on January 2011 along with an ad in a leading daily.

According to brand whizzes, the marketing blitzkrieg for Ra.One is a classic case of integrating a film into every aspect of people's lives. For instance, be it clothing, automobiles, games, sports, merchandising, there will be a part of the film involved.


Sunday, November 6, 2011

Cause We Live To Eat

One of the most happening phenomena in a youth’s life is fast food chains. Yummy food and variety in the same is all they ask for. In this fast paced life, a person desires tasty and pocket friendly food which fast food joints offer. Unlike many Indians who still carry their lunch along, others now prefer grabbing a bite at McDonald’s or Subway. It satisfies their tummies and is tasty at the same time.

Western chains of fast food like Domino’s, KFC, McDonald’s when first entered the Indian market, they had to compete with the spicy Indian street food and the much adored home-cooked repasts. Adding more spices and a little tadka to the traditional menus, creating more vegetarian options made these restaurants more accessible. The youth now prefers the new fast food chains than the old Udipi restaurant because a burger tastes better than vada sambar.

While these fast food chains adapt to the Indian food chain, they face another obstacle - real estate which is difficult to find in over-crowded Indian cities. While the international joints face this hurdle, the fast food chain stalls in the Indian cities settle themselves on the nooks and corners of the streets giving us our favorite dishes that we resort to when we are short on cash and when that’s the only thing our stomach hankers for.

The market of fast food chains in India is competitive. Indians are food lovers. The chain of fast food in a way binds them together. A new fast food joint implies new savor and variety. Apart from being foodies, status symbol also plays an eminent role.  Teenagers might pick up Subway compared to a local vada pau stall because eating a sub is cooler than eating a vada pau.

So, one shouldn’t be surprised to see the remarkable augmentation of the fast food chains in India. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Never. The. Less.


My dad who usually doesn’t do this, today, while munching some cucumber suddenly asked me about my new blog post. I thought the kind of posts I was posting these days wasn’t really his genre. But since he asked, I had to answer which I didn’t because I didn’t have any. Even this isn’t supposed to be a post considering I am not writing it for that purpose. These are just words which because of the technological advancement are getting typed instead of flowing out of a pen. A fountain pen precisely. I personally feel the posts that are the most random and are absolutely unplanned are the most effective. They in a way define your thinking which in turn defines you. The world outside is judgemental and so it shall judge you.

And mind you, these judgements can be based on anything. Use a few vulgar or abusive words in your statement and those words will be the basis on which you will be measured as a person. A judgement is formed and no matter how hard you try you cannot escape it. Social media makes you handicap that way. You can’t really go out there and be open and bland with your views because “what will others think?” it’s pretty obscure how this world functions. Whatever you do is implicated in ways beyond your imagination. You have to express your anger in words that do not hurt other’s sentiments and still make an impact.

The mere point of the whole situation is lost. Okay, here’s an example for you. Judge yourself.

Example : Gaddafi was a f****ng B*****d. Glad he’s dead.
And
Gaddafi was a bad man. Glad he’s dead.

Well the first option makes an impact for me. Could be anything for you. Depending on how you perceive things and people.

These are just a bunch or words that will make for another blog post. Was trying to write something on the lines of stream of consciousness. Don’t know if this fits the bill. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

How Much We Understood Cinema


What an immense day it was! But before I describe The Day, let’s have a peek in the flashback. It was the evening of 4th October, 2011. Everyone was constantly changing their DPs. There were constant status updates expressing the excitement and nervousness for the next big day. Each and every KC SYBMMite was making sure that every single thing was in place to avoid any eleventh hour glitches. I was literally begging everyone to like the Facebook Page of MilegiNa? and at the same time was thinking of statuses to put up and keep the page active. I was also tweeting about the same and failing at the same time to get retweets. All of this was happening when I got a text from my team member. It read, “We have to be in college tomorrow early because the editing is still left.” Tsunami, earthquake and volcano occurred at the same time. WHAT!!! But there was nothing much that I could do at that time, so I agreed.

Bas. Flashback khatam.

Now let’s come to 5th October, 2011. What a mammoth day it was. I reached college at 07:14:56 A.M. Simran and Hiten came in around 8:00:02 A.M. and at 8:00:004 A.M. we started with the remaining editing. (Wondering why I am being so specific about the time? Know this, BMM students are very particular about time because we waste that a lot in the beginning and that is the only thing which we don’t have later.). There was a virtual chaos and I was absolutely clueless about the happenings. As time passed, everyone started coming in wearing confidence, excitement and nervousness. All of them were ready with their CDs and PDs and we still had 25% editing left to do.

Since the clock is known for not stopping, that damn thing didn’t stop even yesterday in spite of knowing how desperately we wanted it to stop. The screening started at the scheduled time and everyone settled in their seats. We were still downstairs, editing. Our teammates were constantly SMSing us giving us the countdown. 1st movie over. 2nd movie over. 3rd movie over. Ugh! I don’t know about others but I was losing out on my patience but still tried to keep my calm. (Is this a paradox or an irony here?) When the 4th movie was playing on the 4th floor, we were wrapping up on the ground floor. Next movie was Milegi Na? and we were ready. *Phew* Just like the rest, we too were wearing confidence, excitement and nervousness.  And the movie began. Incierto Productions Presents…

That's My Team
What happened after that is difficult to put in words. That feeling, that moment, it was all magical. Everyone was cheering and clapping and encouraging. Hiten had proved it again. Milegi Na? managed to grab the Best Director and Best Screenplay award. Hiten, Rinky, Aishwarya, Simran, Navreen, Alisha Bhimani, Fatema, Hesha, and Vinod made up for the best team. All the fights, clashes, frustration, everything vanished amongst the applause. And then we went to Mc Donald’s to celebrate Milegi Na?. After all Food is what Indians usually think of when they think about celebration.

Friday, September 30, 2011

BMM Veracities


It’s 1:50 A.M. right now and I am wide awake. Since teenagers are known and expected to be awake this late, there is nothing interesting in the first sentence. But what if I tell you that I am up so late working on a project which I know will not help me in any way in the future. But I have to do it anyway because my professor thinks it’s cool and the education system thinks it is their sole duty to enforce an absolutely vague project and make me work on it or else I might just fail the nation and die in hunger and poverty.

When I joined KC BMM, I was on some cloud. I lost the count midway so can’t tell you which cloud that was exactly. BMM was all I wanted to do (and still want to). According to me it was the coolest course ever (it still is…well, at least KC BMM is).

The course is a lot more than what I thought it was. It made me realise my true potential. I didn’t know I could be so determined and could work at a stretch of 10 hours just because I wanted to. If I work like I worked today, my dreams shall become reality very soon. It has been 8 hours now and I am trying to do something which people take hardly 2 minutes to do. It’s a cake walk for them and when I tried eating a slice from that cake I gained 5 Kilos in a second. That was not a very good punch there, right? I know. Just for the record, I am trying to do page lay outing in Adobe InDesign. Somehow, somewhere, I thought it would be fun. If fun implies compromising my sleep and dark circles under my eyes, then I’m sorry, I’m a happy sadist.

For all you sane people out there, you’ve read enough. Believe me. You don’t want to read any further because I am not going to write any further. Forget good, even if a decent writer reads this blog post, he will jump out of the window. Good for me. What can be better than your competition killing itself? Again a bad punch. I’m sure God must have shot a kitten in its face somewhere for this. Sorry kitty. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

And The Mausam of Flops Continue...


If love stories are like these, then I dare not ask one for myself. Mausam was one movie I was like raring to watch, really. I watched the trailer for like a bazillion times and also liked its songs. Also, it was a Pankaj Kapoor film so the expectations were higher than the height of the Eiffel tower.

All this went down the drain when I saw the movie last Sunday. WHAT A DUD! It made absolutely no sense at all. I mean here I am trying to put together some sensible words to tell you all how I found the flick, but from where do I get those sensible words when the entire movie was senseless.

Sonam Kapoor is all good as long as she is not in motion. She looks killer on the magazine covers but the moment she opens her mouth or even tries to attempt acting, she fails wretchedly. She has a face that suits the magazines and hoardings because there, apparently you just need one expression. On the contrary, in a movie you need to have good expressions along with good acting skills to impress your audience. It’s not just about having a flat stomach, girl. Please grow up!

Shahid kapoor... Well I don’t know how to put it in words. Looks like, daddy’s kid needs to go back to acting school. If he didn’t go earlier then that explains his one dimensional acting. Throughout the movie, and I am not even kidding but from start till the end he has only one expression on his face. I can’t really blame anyone for that considering he cannot go beyond that. So yeah, no complaints from Shahid as such but serious complaints from Daddy for his bad choice.

The SKs combo Sucks.

Coming to the story of the movie, there was no story. And I am not trying to make a sarcastic comment here but very genuinely, like someone who would even understand a movie like Aisha, I walked out of the theatre blank. At one point they are in Punjab, then they go the Scotland, then Switzerland, then Ahmedabad, then America, then again Punjab and from there Scotland and then Ahmedabad and then again Switzerland…ahh! You get the point right? It was confusing.

I mean, we save up time and money and plan out trips and here they were hopping from one place to the other like they are all on some ping pong stick. (Remember Daisy in Oswald…she was cute).

So basically, I choose not to reveal the story or anything related to that (not even the cheesy dialogues) because I don’t want people to hate my blog. Don’t even think about doing something like that or else God will shoot a kitten in its face. Also, you can thank me for not writing down the dialogues here.


So all you beautiful people out there take my advice and if you love your sanity and money then do not watch this movie.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

They Say It's "Life"


Today, I am in that mood when there are a lot of thoughts scurrying in my head and just so as to organise them, I am penning them down. Today, again it was a bad start to the day. Got up early morning for a lecture and it got cancelled. But I am used to it now.

When I was telling all this to my friend, she said “life is tough. All these hurdles will come your way. Face them now and have a comfortable life in the future.” I will probably have to sit with some scholar or maybe a philosopher to decipher the meaning of “life” because I clearly don’t seem to comprehend it.

According to me, life is simple. Yes. It. Is. Simple. I was a sperm and my mom nurtured me and brought me into this world. She gave me the best gift. Life. Then my parents did all they could to make sure the smile on my face was intact. The sound of my laughter was the most pleasing sound to their ears. Having said all this, life for me is simple and also very beautiful. It is not difficult or troublesome or tough or complicated.

I think I know the reason for “life” being so harsh for others. When you fail in an attempt you put the blame on someone else. It is always because of some other person that you are in pain and trouble. That your life isn’t perfect like it could have been had someone given you a chance. Am I right? Does that sound right?

If your answer to that is a ‘yes’ then I advise you to sit down with a cool mind and think. Go back in your past and figure out what went wrong. If you can’t then I’m sorry for you. But if your answer to that is a ‘no’ then you probably know what I am talking about.

Humans are strange. I have accepted this fact. When we win we give the credit only to ourselves. It was our hard work, our struggle, our anguishes that gave us the fruitful result. But this scene changes when we fail. Our failure is never just because of us. No, there is always someone else’s hand in our collapse. If was always because of him/her/they/them that we were defeated in our attempt. Why is it so difficult to accept failure? Try this. You failed because you didn’t make the right choice. You failed because you didn’t listen to your heart then. You failed because you were too vulnerable to the situation. You failed because you did not stand firm on your belief. You failed because of YOU.

Any story that you tell about yourself causes suffering. There is no authentic story. For once, stop blaming others and point that finger which you point at others so readily at yourself. The “life” which you say is so arduous and difficult will make a lot more sense. You will feel better by just accepting your defeat. You will be happy. People around you will be happy. You have smiles and pleasant conversations for those who don’t know you, who have no interest in you. And nothing but sharpness for those who feel your pain and who want to be with you.  If you don’t adapt quickly amidst changing circumstances, you are going to end up in biology books as that dead fish that couldn’t leap.

Statements like “try try till you succeed”, “accept life the way it is” and many more are baseless. These statements might have worked well for people in the ancient times but today they are just a bunch of words. We’ve been fed lies for too long. Lies about life, about love, money, success, happiness…it’s the bequest we’ve been handed. When you don’t get the result even after trying a bazillion times, try doing something else. Figure out another way. Do not accept life the way it is. Change it. Make it better. Don’t stop in your tracks only because you are worn out, for souls that can be saved must be. J. R. R. Tolkien says, “Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens”. If you can't keep the faith through tough times, it's not faith.

In the end, it’s not what you do or create, it’s what you live and breathe. Let your life unfold within your mind and not in the sphere of someone else’s reality. Think about it.

I guess I have said enough. This is my way of looking at things. You might have different views. Also, I have packing to do. Going Udaipur tomorrow on a college trip. 

Friday, September 9, 2011

Marooned


There are times when I stand convinced that time is a flawed concept. ‘Time heals everything’ is nothing but just three naive words put together with no authentic meaning attached to it. Man probably came up with this to ease his pain. Although deep down his heart, he is aware that time had nothing to do with the healing. Instead it was ‘Realization’.

Perhaps he took that course of time firstly; to prove those three words true and secondly, man adores sorrow and pain. Without those, life would become tasteless for him. Sorrow and pain are like Sodium and Chloride in his recipe of life.
But the matter of fact is that time had certainly nothing to do with the recovery of the wounds which once upon a time seemed they would worsen. The realization I talked about could have cropped up that very moment or maybe in a few days, months, years or maybe never.

Very casually people ask me if I have ‘moved on’. Allow me to ask what does ‘moving on’ imply? They ask if I am ‘over it’. Please edify how do you ‘get over’ something? Does it infer that all the memories you built in the course of time just vanish like that? That every time you hear of it you do not fight the urge to break down? You forgo all those moments and ‘move on’ because apparently you are ‘over it’.

But then again, doesn’t this same man also claim that ‘memories never fade’? Is it an excuse to the argument that you have moved on but apparently haven’t completely recovered? The scars haven’t faded yet?


It’s true that we try to run away from memories that bring grief and make our heart ache. But then the same heart also tells us that no matter wherever you go, no matter whatever you do, no matter however hard you try, you will fail every time. It will make sure you fail.

Now maybe in your defence you’ll say ‘life is complicated’. No. Life is not complicated. Life is simple. It’s your life and you know best that your life cannot be complicated. It has nothing to do with time or memories. These elements rather make your life beautiful. Intention and wish are the elements that decide what you get out of yourself. Do not say that you did not choose this for yourself. Cause if you didn’t then who?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Bodyguard. Needn’t I say more?


Few things I would advise you to carry along if you are planning to go for this movie:
  •         Rotten Tomatoes
  •          Rotten eggs
  •         Shoes, chappal, etc.
Well, these are just a few suggestions. You can come up with your new innovative ideas to display your anger and frustration. I am too lazy to rack my brains for that purpose. But if you are the cool temperament types, you know the lazy ones (like me) then just carry a blanket. That’d be it. Instead of massacring your time and energy yelling to express your irritation, just wrap the blanket and go off to sleep. That’s exactly what I did. After 20 minutes, the peeps around me could hear my loud snores.

Nothing and I’m very serious here, NOTHING about the movie was good or new. Since I was napping throughout, my friend who is a die-hard Salman fan literally took the pain to tell me the story. Imagine my relief. Thank goodness I dozed. But then again, you can’t expect logic, meaning, class, humane or anything realistic of any Salman flick. As far as Kareena Kapoor is considered, she could pull off that kind of role even if she was sleepwalking.

There is this buzz that this could have been Salman’s hat trick. After Wanted and Dabanng. But then wasn’t it? Well for me it was. All three of them were futile. And all three of them were superbly effective in giving me an abysmal headache. I swear I’m not making this up but I actually got temperature after watching Dabanng.

And what’s with this craze of Salman taking off his shirt and boasting his body? Believe me; I like it more when Taylor Lautner removes his shirt to show his 8 pack *drools*. Now don’t you judge me by this. I don’t like Twilight. But I like Taylor Lautner. Yes, I do.

Anyway, coming back to Bodyguard, I have to mention this. I saw Not-So-Lovely Singh (read: Salman Khan) do this move in some song where he is making his muscles do the dancing. No Sallu, even your muscles can’t dance. My vote still goes to Pappu.

To conclude, The Kareena Kapoor, Salman Khan Starrer Bodyguard is a big dud. My advice would be: Don’t go for this. Don’t waste your bucks on this one. Rather sleep. Your dreams won’t be as boring as this is. In the Bodyguard style - Mujphe ek ehsaan karna, ke aisi aur koi movies mat banana.’

P.S. – This is my personal opinion. You may disagree to it. But that will still not make Bodyguard a “good’ movie.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Eid - Then And Now

The fresh aroma of shirkhurma was mouth- watering. As a child, I used to keenly wait for this time of the year. I walked into the kitchen to get a peek at the various items on the menu. My mom was taking freshly fried samosas out from the frying pan. I could hear my stomach grumble. I didn’t have enough patience to wait for her to serve it to me. But then again, didn’t have a choice either.

Except for the royal delicious breakfast, nothing about the day was extraordinaire like it once used to be. I had my day’s schedule in place and so did my mom and dad. The day had its significance when we were young and most importantly when we were in Udaipur. We all used to frenziedly wait for the 30 rozas to end. And then it would be all about smiles and laughter and colour.

The eagerness I had to wear the new apparels and grab the fanciest looking purse and walk out elegantly holding my dad’s hand to visit all the relatives and friends. The proud feeling I experienced every time someone would complement me or my dress. And of course Idi. How can I possibly forget that? That was the core reason to carry the purse.

The whole morning we used to spend visiting and greeting people. Then in the afternoon, we all used to gather at my maternal grandmother’s house for a fancy lunch. I must tell you, she is an awesome cook. I used to meet all my cousins there and we used to devote the entire afternoon counting our idi and showing off our dresses and doing other girly stuff.

In the evening we used to have a friend’s rendezvous. Usually, we used to go to some resort or someone’s farmhouse. Just like the breakfast and lunch, the dinner also used to be imperial. Wondering why am I mentioning food so much? Well, I’m a foodie and believe me on this, these food items tasted much better than what they cook at MasterChef (I am obviously exaggerating here).

It used to be one of the finest and the most awaited days of the year. Something I always looked forward to. We moved to Mumbai eight years back and I don’t miss anything about Udaipur as much as I miss this jamboree. Here, the only thing that hasn’t change is the food. I get the noble courses here also. But I miss my friends and my cousins and my grand mom’s hand cooked food. Still waiting for that year when I’ll be jammy enough to celebrate Eid-Ul-Fitr with everyone with the same excitement.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Vasai Turns VaSEA

I slowly opened my eyes to check my cell phone. No, not for the silly forwards but to check the time. As soon I pressed the button and saw the time, my half close eyes were wide open and I jumped out of my bed like a ninja. Sh*t! I was late! Not losing the ninja spirit, I rushed through the process of getting ready.

It was pouring outside. And I had this indecisive urge in me to bunk the lecture. Just when I was about to execute the thought, my mom very innocently stated that one word which scares the hell out of every student. It is the devil’s word in a student’s life. “What about your attendance?” and that was it. The image of the black list popped right in front of my eyes and heartbroken I toddled out of the house.

It was pouring unremittingly since yesterday. Vasai had become VaSEA overnight. The monster of water had drunk the entire residential sector. There were no rickshaws and unlike always, there were very few people on the road. They were obviously sleeping. Why would anyone wake up at 7 on a Sunday morning? Unless he/she is a BMM student. In that case anything can happen.

I was in no mood to put my feet in that dirty gutter ka pani so i decided to walk back. Just then out of nowhere a rickshaw came and stood right in front of me and the rickshaw wala very chivalrously asked, “Station jane ka hai?” it never happens on other days when I am running late and desperately in the need to rush to the station. But today it happened. With the hope to catch the desired train, I hopped in.

Dashing through the water and fighting the fake waves, the rickshaw slowly made its way ahead and dropped me to the station just in time. My happiness knew no bounds. I managed to reach the station on time in spite of the water and the rains. I would be able to catch the train I want. I wouldn’t be late. Thrillingly I ascended the stairs of the bridge and just when I touched up, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out to see a message from the CR.

The much-adored-professor cancelled the lecture. It was as if the whole world around me had come to a halt. The word ‘cancelled’ stuck out. I was devastated. Why? Why? WHY??? For a moment I forgot where was I standing and my instant reaction was I looked up and said this out loud “Dude, was this your idea of some sick joke?” and it doesn’t end there. I kept staring up for 5 seconds as if I was ever going to get a reply. But all I could see was a blackish roof swathed with spider webs. Subsequently I looked straight in front of me and saw a cute guy staring at me and then looking up wondering whom was I talking to. Embarrassment happened. I looked at him and smiled sheepishly.

To avoid more embarrassment I tottered away and feeling like a complete idiot. Helpless I crossed the station from west to east, took a rickshaw and came home. Not to mention I wasted 20 bucks in this whole process. Don’t you give me that look now! Even if the world economy is doing exceptionally well, a student is always facing recession. And in crisis like these 20 bucks getting washed away is not a happy prospect.

I reached home and as soon as I entered my bedroom I saw my sister sleeping. In my last post I very finely told you how she looks when she sleeps. If you haven’t read it then do it now. Just the one below this. Go. go. Read. And by the time you read that, I’ll go complete my quota of sleep.

Just Another Lousy Morning...

I awoke to the ear-splitting ringing of the alarm clock. Not something I fancy hearing at the beginning of the day. The sound is thunderous, exasperating and absolutely out of rhythm. It’s like someone with a ghastly voice is yelling right in your ear. I hopped out of my bed completely alarmed and shut the damn thing off. Stupid clock!

I peek outside the window. The sun was still asleep. And I was up already! Then sluggishly my eyes crawled to my pillow and it was as if there was some inordinately strong magnetic force activated between me and the pillow. I fought the urge to put my sleepy head on it as I knew well that if I gave in to the temptation, my day which should start now would start in the afternoon.

Mustering all the energy, I gently lifted myself up and almost begging my joints not to go against me, I stepped forward. Yes, it IS that arduous to get up on an early morning when you are supposed to be snoring away making it difficult for anybody around you to sleep. I can sense you thinking why I am giving you such lousy explanation of a just another crummy morning. Well, you see, I am just trying to increase the word count here. Bwhahahahaha.

Anyway, so after a lot of whining, I managed to take an early morning bath with hot water. It would be suicide to use cold water to take bath on a cold rainy sleepy morning. And I love myself enough not to try such scary stunts.

And when I walk in the room I see my sister with her mouth wide open and hands thrown away as if they were…they were…they were…ah! I am not good with comparisons. Point is she looked as if she hadn’t slept in years and was completing the quota THIS VERY MORNING.

Whining, cussing, I packed my bag, took my camera (I mentioned ‘camera’ specifically because it’s new and I am just bragging about it. That is one of the activities girls do best.), put on my shoes and just when I was about to walk out of the door, my phone woke up from its sleep.

For 3 seconds, I kept wondering who it could be at this hour. Then I thought why use my demented brain thinking something so silly like this. So I took out my phone to avoid all the thinking. It was my friend and guess why did she call me? The project cause, of which I had to kill my much adored sleep, was cancelled. Fail Happened.

I was in a dilemma. Didn’t know whether to be happy or to be angry. To avoid more pressure on my brain, I simply changed into my night suit and went on a ride in my much loved dream world.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Anna On Ann Shan: End Discussion Save Nation

Wake Up

Uncles Now!

It’s been more than 144 hours and the clock is still ticking. Anna Da and our mighty government have sworn not to leave their stands. It’s a shame that the government is doing precisely what the people expected of it. It is a disgrace that they claim to be ‘for the people’ because actually they are not!

Since 42 years the government has been treating the Jan Lokpal bill as the Jan jokepal bil. Anna Da made his point at the Jantar Mantar where he showed the vexation of the public and their dissatisfaction for the functioning of the government.

Let’s not repeat the old story all over again. The point is that Anna gave the ultimatum around one or one and a half months back that he would go on Ann Shann on 16th August.

Instead of taking that in the right spirit and work for it, our uncles were busy collecting and polishing their archery of allegations through which they could hit and put down the spirit of Anna and the populace.

Why is the government pretending to be deaf? After seeing the two day trailer at Jantar mantar, how could they afford to take Anna Da’s claim as a joke?

Since past 6 days, that strong old man who just looks fragile hasn’t put a morsel in his mouth and still the government is not doing anything except discussion. What were they doing for the past 42 years then?

Multi-million scams happen right under their nose and they are completely unaware of it. Is this the reliability of the government? All we’re hearing on the news is that the Lokpal Bill is being circulated in the Standing Committee or this committee or that committee.

Why is the government being so arrogant? Don’t they want India to progress and be corruption free? Why are they so scared?

Witnessing the massive support of the nation, they are still debating. WHY? These are the same people who have given you the power which you have used to corrupt yourself so effortlessly.

Is it that the government doesn’t care at all? I guess yes, they don’t give a damn! I remember when one of the leader very openly said that they can’t control all the terrorist attacks. They told us lucidly not to have any expectations from them.

But again, the government should not forget that the true power lies in the hand of the public. If we can give them the power then we can also take it away from them.

The way Anna and his followers have been protesting… I haven’t seen a more peaceful way of protest so far. Not once have the given the chance to the police to raise their hand. So government must not underestimate us.

Annagiri can demolish corruption from the nation, while Sarkargiri will only demolish the nation with corruption.

We are still waiting for the ever sleeping “leaders” to wake up and take some fruitful action.

WAKE UP LEADERS NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!! Because if this continues, then I fear that they will keep debating and our much adored Anna Da will fade away.

(My article published in UDAIPUR TIMES on 22nd August 2011)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Fighting The Malaise

Sixty Five years back, we fought the British to get independence. Now, after 65 years of independence, we are fighting our very own leaders to get independence. The condition today is much worse because back then, we were fighting a foreign invasion as one nation. Today, however, there are two groups.

One groups where there is a large bunch of Indians who are fed up of the malaise that has gripped our motherland. Who have to deal with it at every step of their lives. And who is just desperate to get rid of it and live in a compliant and true nation.

On the other hand, we have the other group who is somewhere down the road shamefaced for this deadly disease. No, I’m not entirely putting the blame on them. The former group is also at fault. Had they not tolerated and given in, today, I’m sure the scenario would have been a lot different. Not to forget much better.

But, as they say, “No point crying over spilt milk.” After a point of time, the pot of sins can’t take it anymore and it overflows. And it’s then when a revolution occurs. Today, that day has come. The entire nation has united as one and has forgotten everything and is now fighting for the Jan Lokpal Bill to fight corruption.

Anna Hazare, who is being referred to as the Mahatma Gandhi of 21st century is in Tihar Jail and has refused to come out because the police and the government is not permitting him to go on anna shann at a place of his choice. But this hasn’t stopped him to accomplish his quest. Neither has it stopped his followers to support him in an unconditional way.

The media is doing its bit too. Looking at the agitation and the enthusiasm of the crowd, more and more people are connecting to the cause. Since past 3 days, the first few pages of the newspaper are swathed with news of Anna Hazare. Switch on any news channel and there is no other news but Anna Hazare’s.

I don’t know if this is another struggle for independence or is it another revolution. I also don’t know if Anna Hazare can be equalled to Mahatma Gandhi. All I know is that I want to live in true India. I want those people whom I see on T.V. in white attire, clasping their hands in a Namaste, shouting out promises to live up to those promises and respect the respect that we have bestowed on them.

While I am writing this, Mr. Amitabh Bacchan on Kaun Banega Crorepati very smartly and musically explained the mentality of the Indian Politicians.
Before elections they sing - Kasme vade nibhayenge hum…
After election they sing – Kasme vade, pyar wafa, sab baatein hain baton ka kya!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Freedom Pipe Leaks Corruption

The Indian civilization has been on this planet for over 3,500 years but today it celebrates its 65th Birthday. The midnight of August 15, 1947 was eventful for every Indian, when India gained independence from the grip of the mighty British.

Since then, this day is celebrated with pomp and gaiety, across the length and breadth of India. The story of the voyage to Indian Independence is a dramatic one, and like any other good story, filled with interesting characters as well as a great deal of tragedies.

After a lot of blood shedding struggles and sacrifices we attained what we proudly call ‘Freedom’.

Let’s talk about Freedom?

It is indeed a very abstruse term to define in any way. Bronislaw Malinowski wrote, “Freedom can be defined as the conditions necessary and sufficient for the formation of a purpose, its translation into effective action through organized cultural instrumentalities, and the full enjoyment of the results of such activity”.

It is true that many criterions must be met to get freedom ascertained. Freedom didn’t come easily for India. We all have studied the Indian Struggle for Freedom and are very well versed with this fact.

Without freedom there cannot be decency and there would not be much worth living for. But it appears as if we have taken this fact for granted.

We have taken our freedom as a cake or it seems like our tummies could not able to digest the freedom which we got free of cost, even though our freedom fighters have forgo their lives for this free air that we pollute so effortlessly today.

The harsh truth is that most of us don’t even know what freedom is. When in school, we all learnt about freedom of speech and expression. But how free are we to express. In the name of region, religion we are still getting ruled by the politicians.

This present apathy shows how far the degradation of our values has reached, and how low the system has dipped.

Why politics and most of the politicians in India are so corrupt?

Because of the disregard for honesty, righteousness and truth, it was the emanation of political elite who believe in interest-oriented rather than nation-oriented programmes and policies.

This corruption that we see today is not a development that has come overnight.

It has been a continuous process since the past several decades and today it has advanced into the very blood stream of the system.

One would say corruption in India has an ancient birth; it is consecrate by tradition. The author of Arthashastra made some remarks on the government officials of his time which are relevant even today: “Just as it is impossible not to taste the honey or the poison that finds itself at the tip of the tongue, so it is impossible for a government servant not to eat up at least a bit of the king’s revenue.”

The government officials found the post-war conditions perfect for fishing in troubled waters and getting richer. They formed a sort of monstrous circle in which beliefs and true intentions no longer held valid.

The ordinary Indian has reached the highest level of hatred and disappointment at the way things are happening in this country.

The monster of corruption hasn’t spared anyone. We do not mind doing anything as long as we meet our ends.

There was a time when bribe was paid for getting the wrong things done but today the scenario has changed. Now bribes are paid for getting the right things done at the right time.

Corruption has endangered the very existence of this nation. Fight against corruption in itself has become a joke.

A big name is involved in any corruption case, there is a lot of hoo-hah for some time, but then it all dies down with the passage of time and the corruption continues unabated.

How does this happen?

This is very obvious for all those who have to be at the clearing end are bought, so, no damage can ever come to the so called elites.

This is the main reason why there is never any advance in any scam. In this situation it will be a wonder if anything palpable can really be achieved for, the elites cannot be touched, and the lower formations need not be touched – so we remain where we were at the commencement of any case.

The scams which have come to light in last one decade have amounted to multi – crores, they are being dealt with but, it is so astonishing that no politician has yet been punished for drawing off so much of wealth of a poor country.

When the senior cannot be punished how can there be any dusting at the bottom.

Everyone knows who the corrupt are but, the paradox of our system is such that no one can be touched. If this situation remains any longer, it is a wonder if there could be any light at the end of the tunnel.

Recently, all this Anna Hazare episode of fighting the corruption is on the rise. What is the use of just a show of dealing against corruption, while in reality all cases are just quietly postponed banking on the fact that, public memory is very short.

From where do these people get such guts to bluntly make a big fool of the masses?

It’s the acceptance of people towards corruption, complete lack of powerful uproar against corruption. Corruption is India has wings, not wheels.

Independence Day has always been about patriotic songs, hoisting the flag and disturbing tricolored brooches.

The tiranga will be seen everywhere… on vehicles and even lying on the roads and till evening they will be inside dustbins.

Is this how we will define our Freedom and India?

But we hardly have that feeling.

I wonder if I will be lucky enough to be blessed with a TRUE independence day and I will get the chance to write what I really want to read and see.

(My article published in UDAIPUR TIMES on 15th August.)