BMM Veracities

It’s 1:50 A.M. right now and I am wide awake. Since teenagers are known and expected to be awake this late, there is nothing interesting in the first sentence. But what if I tell you that I am up so late working on a project which I know will not help me in any way in the future. But I have to do it anyway because my professor thinks it’s cool and the education system thinks it is their sole duty to enforce an absolutely vague project and make me work on it or else I might just fail the nation and die in hunger and poverty.

When I joined KC BMM, I was on some cloud. I lost the count midway so can’t tell you which cloud that was exactly. BMM was all I wanted to do (and still want to). According to me it was the coolest course ever (it still is…well, at least KC BMM is).

The course is a lot more than what I thought it was. It made me realise my true potential. I didn’t know I could be so determined and could work at a stretch of 10 hours just because I wanted to. If I work like I worked today, my dreams shall become reality very soon. It has been 8 hours now and I am trying to do something which people take hardly 2 minutes to do. It’s a cake walk for them and when I tried eating a slice from that cake I gained 5 Kilos in a second. That was not a very good punch there, right? I know. Just for the record, I am trying to do page lay outing in Adobe InDesign. Somehow, somewhere, I thought it would be fun. If fun implies compromising my sleep and dark circles under my eyes, then I’m sorry, I’m a happy sadist.

For all you sane people out there, you’ve read enough. Believe me. You don’t want to read any further because I am not going to write any further. Forget good, even if a decent writer reads this blog post, he will jump out of the window. Good for me. What can be better than your competition killing itself? Again a bad punch. I’m sure God must have shot a kitten in its face somewhere for this. Sorry kitty. 

And The Mausam of Flops Continue...

If love stories are like these, then I dare not ask one for myself. Mausam was one movie I was like raring to watch, really. I watched the trailer for like a bazillion times and also liked its songs. Also, it was a Pankaj Kapoor film so the expectations were higher than the height of the Eiffel tower.

All this went down the drain when I saw the movie last Sunday. WHAT A DUD! It made absolutely no sense at all. I mean here I am trying to put together some sensible words to tell you all how I found the flick, but from where do I get those sensible words when the entire movie was senseless.

Sonam Kapoor is all good as long as she is not in motion. She looks killer on the magazine covers but the moment she opens her mouth or even tries to attempt acting, she fails wretchedly. She has a face that suits the magazines and hoardings because there, apparently you just need one expression. On the contrary, in a movie you need to have good expressions along with good acting skills to impress your audience. It’s not just about having a flat stomach, girl. Please grow up!

Shahid kapoor... Well I don’t know how to put it in words. Looks like, daddy’s kid needs to go back to acting school. If he didn’t go earlier then that explains his one dimensional acting. Throughout the movie, and I am not even kidding but from start till the end he has only one expression on his face. I can’t really blame anyone for that considering he cannot go beyond that. So yeah, no complaints from Shahid as such but serious complaints from Daddy for his bad choice.

The SKs combo Sucks.

Coming to the story of the movie, there was no story. And I am not trying to make a sarcastic comment here but very genuinely, like someone who would even understand a movie like Aisha, I walked out of the theatre blank. At one point they are in Punjab, then they go the Scotland, then Switzerland, then Ahmedabad, then America, then again Punjab and from there Scotland and then Ahmedabad and then again Switzerland…ahh! You get the point right? It was confusing.

I mean, we save up time and money and plan out trips and here they were hopping from one place to the other like they are all on some ping pong stick. (Remember Daisy in Oswald…she was cute).

So basically, I choose not to reveal the story or anything related to that (not even the cheesy dialogues) because I don’t want people to hate my blog. Don’t even think about doing something like that or else God will shoot a kitten in its face. Also, you can thank me for not writing down the dialogues here.

So all you beautiful people out there take my advice and if you love your sanity and money then do not watch this movie.

They Say It's "Life"

Today, I am in that mood when there are a lot of thoughts scurrying in my head and just so as to organise them, I am penning them down. Today, again it was a bad start to the day. Got up early morning for a lecture and it got cancelled. But I am used to it now.

When I was telling all this to my friend, she said “life is tough. All these hurdles will come your way. Face them now and have a comfortable life in the future.” I will probably have to sit with some scholar or maybe a philosopher to decipher the meaning of “life” because I clearly don’t seem to comprehend it.

According to me, life is simple. Yes. It. Is. Simple. I was a sperm and my mom nurtured me and brought me into this world. She gave me the best gift. Life. Then my parents did all they could to make sure the smile on my face was intact. The sound of my laughter was the most pleasing sound to their ears. Having said all this, life for me is simple and also very beautiful. It is not difficult or troublesome or tough or complicated.

I think I know the reason for “life” being so harsh for others. When you fail in an attempt you put the blame on someone else. It is always because of some other person that you are in pain and trouble. That your life isn’t perfect like it could have been had someone given you a chance. Am I right? Does that sound right?

If your answer to that is a ‘yes’ then I advise you to sit down with a cool mind and think. Go back in your past and figure out what went wrong. If you can’t then I’m sorry for you. But if your answer to that is a ‘no’ then you probably know what I am talking about.

Humans are strange. I have accepted this fact. When we win we give the credit only to ourselves. It was our hard work, our struggle, our anguishes that gave us the fruitful result. But this scene changes when we fail. Our failure is never just because of us. No, there is always someone else’s hand in our collapse. If was always because of him/her/they/them that we were defeated in our attempt. Why is it so difficult to accept failure? Try this. You failed because you didn’t make the right choice. You failed because you didn’t listen to your heart then. You failed because you were too vulnerable to the situation. You failed because you did not stand firm on your belief. You failed because of YOU.

Any story that you tell about yourself causes suffering. There is no authentic story. For once, stop blaming others and point that finger which you point at others so readily at yourself. The “life” which you say is so arduous and difficult will make a lot more sense. You will feel better by just accepting your defeat. You will be happy. People around you will be happy. You have smiles and pleasant conversations for those who don’t know you, who have no interest in you. And nothing but sharpness for those who feel your pain and who want to be with you.  If you don’t adapt quickly amidst changing circumstances, you are going to end up in biology books as that dead fish that couldn’t leap.

Statements like “try try till you succeed”, “accept life the way it is” and many more are baseless. These statements might have worked well for people in the ancient times but today they are just a bunch of words. We’ve been fed lies for too long. Lies about life, about love, money, success, happiness…it’s the bequest we’ve been handed. When you don’t get the result even after trying a bazillion times, try doing something else. Figure out another way. Do not accept life the way it is. Change it. Make it better. Don’t stop in your tracks only because you are worn out, for souls that can be saved must be. J. R. R. Tolkien says, “Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens”. If you can't keep the faith through tough times, it's not faith.

In the end, it’s not what you do or create, it’s what you live and breathe. Let your life unfold within your mind and not in the sphere of someone else’s reality. Think about it.

I guess I have said enough. This is my way of looking at things. You might have different views. Also, I have packing to do. Going Udaipur tomorrow on a college trip. 

Marooned

There are times when I stand convinced that time is a flawed concept. ‘Time heals everything’ is nothing but just three naive words put together with no authentic meaning attached to it. Man probably came up with this to ease his pain. Although deep down his heart, he is aware that time had nothing to do with the healing. Instead it was ‘Realization’.

Perhaps he took that course of time firstly; to prove those three words true and secondly, man adores sorrow and pain. Without those, life would become tasteless for him. Sorrow and pain are like Sodium and Chloride in his recipe of life.

But the matter of fact is that time had certainly nothing to do with the recovery of the wounds which once upon a time seemed they would worsen. The realization I talked about could have cropped up that very moment or maybe in a few days, months, years or maybe never.

Very casually people ask me if I have ‘moved on’. Allow me to ask what does ‘moving on’ imply? They ask if I am ‘over it’. Please edify how do you ‘get over’ something? Does it infer that all the memories you built in the course of time just vanish like that? That every time you hear of it you do not fight the urge to break down? You forgo all those moments and ‘move on’ because apparently you are ‘over it’.

But then again, doesn’t this same man also claim that ‘memories never fade’? Is it an excuse to the argument that you have moved on but apparently haven’t completely recovered? The scars haven’t faded yet?

It’s true that we try to run away from memories that bring grief and make our heart ache. But then the same heart also tells us that no matter wherever you go, no matter whatever you do, no matter however hard you try, you will fail every time. It will make sure you fail.

Now maybe in your defence you’ll say ‘life is complicated’. No. Life is not complicated. Life is simple. It’s your life and you know best that your life cannot be complicated. It has nothing to do with time or memories. These elements rather make your life beautiful. Intention and wish are the elements that decide what you get out of yourself. Do not say that you did not choose this for yourself. Cause if you didn’t then who?

Bodyguard. Needn’t I say more?

Few things I would advise you to carry along if you are planning to go for this movie:

•         Rotten Tomatoes
•          Rotten eggs
•         Shoes, chappal, etc.

Well, these are just a few suggestions. You can come up with your new innovative ideas to display your anger and frustration. I am too lazy to rack my brains for that purpose. But if you are the cool temperament types, you know the lazy ones (like me) then just carry a blanket. That’d be it. Instead of massacring your time and energy yelling to express your irritation, just wrap the blanket and go off to sleep. That’s exactly what I did. After 20 minutes, the peeps around me could hear my loud snores.

Nothing and I’m very serious here, NOTHING about the movie was good or new. Since I was napping throughout, my friend who is a die-hard Salman fan literally took the pain to tell me the story. Imagine my relief. Thank goodness I dozed. But then again, you can’t expect logic, meaning, class, humane or anything realistic of any Salman flick. As far as Kareena Kapoor is considered, she could pull off that kind of role even if she was sleepwalking.

There is this buzz that this could have been Salman’s hat trick. After Wanted and Dabanng. But then wasn’t it? Well for me it was. All three of them were futile. And all three of them were superbly effective in giving me an abysmal headache. I swear I’m not making this up but I actually got temperature after watching Dabanng.

And what’s with this craze of Salman taking off his shirt and boasting his body? Believe me; I like it more when Taylor Lautner removes his shirt to show his 8 pack *drools*. Now don’t you judge me by this. I don’t like Twilight. But I like Taylor Lautner. Yes, I do.

Anyway, coming back to Bodyguard, I have to mention this. I saw Not-So-Lovely Singh (read: Salman Khan) do this move in some song where he is making his muscles do the dancing. No Sallu, even your muscles can’t dance. My vote still goes to Pappu.

To conclude, The Kareena Kapoor, Salman Khan Starrer Bodyguard is a big dud. My advice would be: Don’t go for this. Don’t waste your bucks on this one. Rather sleep. Your dreams won’t be as boring as this is. In the Bodyguard style - ‘Mujphe ek ehsaan karna, ke aisi aur koi movies mat banana.’

P.S. – This is my personal opinion. You may disagree to it. But that will still not make Bodyguard a “good’ movie.